I want to stick my p in your. b.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
