You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
