you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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