Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
