did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
