Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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