One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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