Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
