It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
