Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Randomize
