apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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