But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
