At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
