He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
