I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
you would pick up someone in the library
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Randomize
