He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
