Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
that's an acceptable place to lick
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
