Do vagina's smell?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
