let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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