worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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