her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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