I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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