I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
