What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
