But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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