Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Randomize
