im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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