honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
