Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Randomize