I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
