We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
