I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
