I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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