you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
