new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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