I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
