you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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