nut hugger
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I intend to get homeless drunk
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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