So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
