Whoa Z and x make the same sound
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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