wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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