I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
