I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
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