Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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