it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
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