do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
