Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
