so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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