Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
