i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
