I can't watch pbs sober anymore
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
