which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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