Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
