Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
