it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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