Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
that is very illegal...i love you.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
