drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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