my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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