People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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