Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Randomize
